Jonas Brother Loves Cold Brew, Disses Coffee Bars

In a recent AMA on Reddit, Joe Jonas – one third of the Flying Jonas Brothers, but probably not the one that ended up becoming Robin – took to the internet forum to answer questions from adoring fans (and to promote the new single for his I’m-not-a-boy-not-yet-a-grown-up band DNCE, which has both a girl AND a guy with weird hair and neck tattoos). Being a self-described “caffeine aficionado,” Jonas gave his no-holds-barred coffee opinions. Turns out, he loves cold brew and specialty coffee clichés.

During the AMA, Reddit user 12minute posed the question, “As a budding coffee enthusiast, what is your coffee/espresso/crafted drink of choice?” The ever-germane Jonas replied with:

I’m a big cold brew fan, and so I like to try different cold brews around the country. We’ve gone to pretty much every bougie third wave coffee spot you could imagine in the US. It has to be a place that they are particularly really rude to you and the lines very long and they take at least 5-10 minutes to make a latte, a lot of reclaimed wood and exposed brick…chalkboard menu, preferably. I’m a cold brew guy, but I do like a latte once in awhile. There’s a great movie called Barista I watched recently. I’m a huge fan now of all the different guys and girls that compete in those competitions. I plan on going to one of the competitions eventually and trying their specialty drinks.

So many questions here. Is Joe Jonas implying that the only place to get cold brew is at a “bougie third wave coffee spot?” Is he saying that all specialty cafes are bougie? And why even have that two sentence screed apropos of nothing jammed in the middle of talking about how much he likes cold brew? The whole paragraph makes much more sense without it.

Here’s my theory: Joltin’ Joe is correct in his assessment of the bouginess of the cafes he visits because, much in the same way he is compelled to making bougie music, he’s preternaturally drawn to the bougiest coffee shop in whatever city he is in. I mean, come on; if Joe Jonas isn’t at this very moment wearing a slouchy white v-neck tee with the sleeves cuffed, a big-brimmed hat with a feather or turquoise on the band, and some sort of long necklace with a whistle or maybe more turquoise dangling from it, I’ll eat my own head. Maybe he is completely spot on, but he just goes to the absolute worst spots because he is their target demographic.

Jonas does have a soft spot for those that take coffee seriously, mentioning his appreciation for the movie Barista and his plans to attend a competition one day to try out some of the signature beverages. Now, normally onlookers don’t get to a chance to taste those specialty concoctions (unless you’re working the media booth and you can steal one from the bus tub), but I guess when your brother is THE Nick Jonas, some exceptions can be made.

Being from a live AMA, it’s most likely that Jonas’ remarks were meant to be in good fun with no malice intended. But because they are on the internet, we get to overreact to the very thought of someone saying bad things about our preferences. I’m guessing he didn’t really put much thought into the implications of what he was saying, kinda like he did with his new band’s name. If you are going to leave it up to the audience to fill in the blank on the missing vowel, don’t assume they’re necessarily going to choose an A over a U.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.

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